God forbid you express that say a 20 year old having sex with a 16 year old, while not laudable or good, is not going to necessarily permanently traumatize the 16 year old involved. I knew a few couples like that, and while I wouldn't say the relationships were generally great or that such an age gap is a "good idea", pretty much all of them seemed fine and ended with everyone involved going their own ways NBD.

People have a really hard time drawing a line between things which are inadvisable and a bad idea, and things which need social ostracism and shaming and possible legal consequences.

Like skateboarding without a helmet is also a super bad idea.