Today’s piece dives into the most unhinged Thanksgiving ceremony in presidential history, a turkey pardon that spirals into crime fantasies, auto-pen conspiracies, performative fat-shaming, imaginary wars ended, $18 trillion hallucinations, and an FBI director who may or may not be using federal SWAT teams as a country-music road crew. It would all be funny if it weren’t also a real-time glimpse into the disorganized mind of a man who still controls the nuclear codes.