I arrived yesterday. Rang the doorbell at 11 am. Door is unlocked. As I open it, my mother with dementia appears.

“Your father doesn’t have any clothes on. We just got up. Why didn’t you tell us you were coming?!”

“Sorry. I did tell you. May I come in?”

“So inconsiderate!”

I put my carry on in the room where I always stay. I bought food at Whole Foods, for lunch and dinner and more treats for Valentine’s Day. As I opened the fridge to put things away, she came up behind me.

“I’m the boss here. I’m the one who organizes the food in the fridge. You have a problem with that?”😡

“No, mom. I’m putting the frozen dinners in the freezer. I have fresh food for us. Salmon, green beans and mashed potatoes. How does that sound?”

“Our food isn’t good enough for you. We are perfectly capable of making our own dinner. Where are you staying?”

😳

And so, here we go. I showered her, shampooing her tangled hair, getting out knots from a prolonged period of not shampooing. I had to cut out some of the clumps and then give her a proper trim. I cut her toe nails and dressed her. Got their internet back up and running and changed my father’s password so he could see his accounts. And then I walked. Six miles outside. Head clear. As I opened the door, she popped up from the couch.

“What are you doing here? Why didn’t you tell us you were coming? Where did you come from?”

Is it possible I am getting better, as they worsen? It’s the dementia. There is a paranoia involved with my mother’s stage now. She whispers to my father, “She’s so nasty!” I’m not nasty,never have been. I hold my temper, thicken my skin, and roll with it. Here we go. 💜