The NYT just published the most comprehensive account yet of what people on the internet love to incessantly ask: How did Jeffrey Epstein get his money?

This question is typically asked with dark intimations that Epstein must have acquired his mysterious wealth through pedo blackmail ops, or through something else to do with his illicit "intelligence" connections.

But here's what the NYT concludes in its ~10,000 word article, after a months-long investigation by at least four different reporters:

"Abundant conspiracy theories hold that Epstein worked for spy services or ran a lucrative blackmail operation, but we found a more prosaic explanation for how he built a fortune... [Epstein] engineered inside deals and demonstrated a remarkable knack for separating seemingly sophisticated investors and businessmen from their money."

So in other words, Epstein was good at convincing rich guys to give him their money. Yeah, that's definitely a more "prosaic" explanation than the podcast creatures and social media bomb-throwers want to hear. But it's also the explanation that most aligns with the available facts and evidence.

Of course, it largely won't matter, because adhering to "facts and evidence" is not very popular online. Wild, groundless speculation is what lights up the algorithm. Which in turn generates $$$$$. Come to think of it, the internet hordes are not too dissimilar from Epstein — they'll say anything for the money.