This afternoon, I opened my email and saw that my Mom became a Founding member subscriber (highest paid tier). I was absolutely horrified. I immediately refunded her, then blocked her. Thankfully she had only been subscribed for an hour but I still felt exposed, as if my clothes had been torn off my body.

Even before I estranged from my family, I would have been absolutely mortified if they ever found out about my Youtube channel or my other internet galavants…but this was just another way of crossing my boundaries.

It felt like she was trying to read my diary all over again just like she did when I was 19, before shaming & punishing me for what I had written.

Dangling money in front of someone who is trying to make ends meet, is the best way to weasel your way in after they walked away from a relationship with you. This is always what she has done. I could use the money but I already know the cost is too great, so I gave it back.

What a great way to top off an already emotionally raw day. The first day I broke down in months. Some people know how to creep in when you’re at your lowest. But what good is a relationship, when someone is only willing to be with you when they are broken and confused?