::sits down at desk for first full work day in the entire month, delirious with relief at finally being able to concentrate::

::phone rings::

Hello, this is Nurse Christina! It’s not an emergency. Your 12-year-old son has sort of cut his hand on a metal broom handle? We’re not really sure how that ended up on the playground. Does he need stitches…maaaaaybe? Maybe one? And a tetanus booster? Yeah, you should probably come make the half hour drive to school for the second time today to take him to the ER. Sorry!

[facedesk]