More videos of conservative celebrities sitting on chesterfields smoking cigars in exposed-brick rooms please. I can't get enough. Make it look like a smart guy's man cave. But no, we're not here to "catch the game." This is where the boys do their serious thinking. Men of letters. This room is for ideas. For leather-bound Tolkien reprints. Inlaid gold on the spines. Satin page marker. This beautiful set can be yours for $199. Imagine, if I could be there, sharing my trenchant insights, sparring with these titans of the right. Imagine Ben Shapiro nodding sagely, at me!

"That's a trenchant insight," he might say.

And of course, the brown stuff flows, not overmuch, but enough to keep the conversation on its toes. Thinking men like to have fun, too. We laugh and laugh, talking of Buckley and of Burke. A sidelong glance here. An affable grin there. And the next thing I know, Andrew Klavan's inside me.