Over the course of nearly sixteen seasons, I was wasting my youth in this back and forth situationship (often changing my Facebook status to “It’s Complicated”). I lied to myself, a lot, about being fine with it. This version of myself is one I look back on with such disappointment — I knew I was better than it. I didn’t show up for myself; rather, I showed up time and time again for him. Trying to prove something. All the while, I actually had nothing to prove. It took a while for me to realize that.