I exist even if you don’t see me.

Isn’t it crazy that I have to tell myself that?

That I grew up thinking my very presence in this world was predicated upon other people acknowledging me.

That my pain was only legitimate if it was validated by others. And the others (usually the ones who were hurting me, but not always) never did.

If only I had said: I matter and I’m in pain.

And if they couldn’t acknowledge that, or worse, if they undermined me, I should have walked away rather than believing them. Believing I was wrong and didn’t matter. Believing I couldn’t trust my own feelings. Or that my struggles didn’t compare to theirs.

There is no competition when it comes to love and compassion. There’s enough to go around for everyone.

And struggling doesn’t equal blindness. You can love and hurt and empathize all at the same time.

I will admit there are times when grief and loss can be so debilitating, a person can barely function, let alone see another’s pain. These moments require a different kind of handling.

But consistent self-suppression due to fear of abandonment should never become anyone’s default state.

If you’re reading this, you matter.

And you are worthy of being seen in all your myriad states.

Even the messiest ones.

Especially the messiest ones.