V much agree with this. I really admired the guts to write an essay in which she was not a wronged party and basically the villain of her own life.

One thing I wanted to mention that I really liked in Gould's essay is that she acknowledges she's the one who, in some grand marriage court, is in the wrong here, but also fixing the marriage itself can't really come down to just who is in the wrong. Her list of things she has to forgive and be forgiven for is comically unbalanced but I think that's the point (or it was to me)… the marriage itself can't survive if it's trapped in a cycle of acting out and then eating shit. There has to be grace and give and take. (Otherwise, there's divorce.)