"What If Your Beliefs Weren’t Yours? Would You Still Keep Them?"

You ever notice how easy it is to call out someone else’s flawed thinking?

A friend says, “I’ll never be good at this,” and you’re like, “Dude, you’ve barely even tried!” Someone stresses about money, and you remind them, “Hey, you’ve got skills. You’ll figure it out.”

But when it comes to our own beliefs? We don’t question them—we just live inside them. Like fish in water, we don’t even realize we’re swimming in them.

Which is kinda terrifying, because most of our beliefs weren’t even ours to begin with. They came from parents, school, past experiences, things we heard when we were kids. We absorb them without realizing it. And then? They run the show.

So here’s a fun experiment: What if you could take all your core beliefs, about yourself, success, relationships, happiness, life, and lay them out on the table? Then, what if you looked at them as if they belonged to someone else?

Would you nod in agreement? Or would you think, Oof. This guy’s holding himself back.

The Simple Hack That Exposes Your Blind Spots

Psychologists call this cognitive defusion—a fancy way of saying, “Detach from your thoughts so they don’t own you.” The moment you stop identifying with a belief, you can actually see it for what it is: just a thought, not an absolute truth.

This is why we’re so good at giving other people advice. There’s no emotional attachment, no ego involved. We can see clearly.

So let’s use that same trick on ourselves.

Why This Works (And Why It’s Weirdly Life-Changing)

• It Exposes the Invisible Rules Running Your Life Some of our beliefs are so ingrained that we don’t even see them as beliefs—we see them as “just the way things are.” But the moment you write them down and look at them from a distance, you realize… Wait, why do I even believe this?

• It Helps You Break Up with Outdated Thinking Some beliefs were useful once, but now? They’re just leftovers from old experiences, taking up space like expired food in the fridge. Time for a mental declutter.

• It Forces You to Call Out Your Own Contradictions Ever met someone who says, “I believe in abundance” but also freaks out about spending money? Or someone who claims, “People are generally good” but never trusts anyone?

  Yeah… we all do this. We hold onto contradictory beliefs without realizing it, like pressing the gas and the brake at the same time. No wonder progress feels hard.

• It Stops You from Holding Yourself Hostage Some beliefs feel like part of our identity, so we defend them—even when they’re the very thing keeping us stuck. But if they weren’t yours, would you still fight to keep them?

How to Actually Do This (Without Overthinking It)

• Write Down Your Core Beliefs – About yourself, success, love, happiness, money, health—everything. (Seriously, just brain-dump.)

• Pretend They Belong to a Friend – Imagine your best friend hands you this list and says, “Hey, these are my beliefs. What do you think?”

• Ask the Big Questions:

  Would I tell them to keep these beliefs?

  Do any of these sound self-sabotaging?

  Would I hold onto this belief if I had the choice? (Spoiler: you do.)

• Rewrite the Story – For any belief that isn’t serving you, tweak it. Instead of “I’m not good at this,” try “I’m still learning this.” Instead of “Money is hard to come by,” try “Money flows to people who create value.” Words matter.

Detach, Upgrade, Repeat

This isn’t about throwing out all your beliefs—it’s about upgrading them. When we stop identifying so closely with them, we gain something priceless: the ability to change them intentionally.

So, here’s the real question: If your beliefs aren’t really yours, would you still choose them?

And if not… why are you still carrying them?