If someone says your mum is fat, it’s futile to respond by saying “your mum is fatter,” if your mum overheard that she’d consider you a loser for the rest of your life.. like, pause for a second, see things from your mum’s perspective... what are the real options here? a) murder, b) nothing. That’s it. You can’t ‘turn up the heat,’ you’re not some kind of DJ.. every subsequent use of the word fat, after that initial instance, is going to make reference to her.. the fatter she is, the more referred to she will be, but even if she’s not fat at all, the reference is there (“the ghost of a reference”).. she knows this too… all the fatness of all the mothers in the world is routed through the fatness of your mother, it accumulates in her heart, I’d call it grief if it wasn’t so disgusting… your mother is insulted by language as such. Lacan actually says that. Return to first principles.. murder or exeunt