I just got back from hanging out with friends I hadn't seen in years, and let me be very honest. The whole time, it felt like they were waiting for something to stimulate them. Waiting for the drink or burger to come to the table, for someone to text them, for the game to start on TV, for someone to suggest going to the bar or the beach. I tried, many times, to stimulate more interesting discussion beyond, “How's work?” and “Did you hear about X?” but every attempt slid back into shallow small talk. For a long time I thought something was wrong with me. Why can't I just enjoy simple hangouts? But I've realized there's something deeply deadening about being around people who are just there. People who feel like they've done their job by just showing up. I left feeling like I had just checked a hangout box. Like I fulfilled my mandatory social obligation. “Good catching up with you bro.” No, it wasn't. It was pretty sad actually.

I understand this comes off as snobbish, but I think there's a genuine epidemic of empty hangouts where people don't even try to discourse or bond with each other in a meaningful way. I'm not saying everyone needs to be Oscar Wilde, but it makes sense why so many people would rather play video games or watch Netflix than go through my experience.