“feel your feelings but don't let them consume you. feel them and then move on.”

but what does that even mean? ive been in therapy for years but my first thought is still ok that means i should numb myself with substances because i can't just turn my emotions off and if i am feeling something it ALWAYS consumes me no matter how hard i try to fight it im just not strong enough i guess. when i feel things they control me so i usually isolate myself and cry or just stew in it until they go away so i dont make any irrational decisions but im told thats not healthy either? all ive ever felt is consumed by emotion, either mine or other people's. to me the nature of an emotion is to eat you alive until it's full and ready to taste something else, then i have to spend days replacing the nutrients that negative emotion drained me of.

even right now i feel completely consumed and weighed down by something that may or may not even happen weeks from now! how tf do you feel without being “consumed” by it?completely foreign concept to me, truly. idk what it is ab the way my brain works that makes me this way. i usually just try to let my feelings run their course, and do my best to express them or self soothe in the meantime, but sometimes the course is years long. is everyone else also thinking about their trauma constantly or is that just me? does everyone else also have 7000 grudges theyre holding onto and feel they cant let go of until the stars align in the right way?