Between sets of robust laughter with our visiting friends we have been having real conversations about things like retirement, health changes, good and bad, and what the future looks like in what we are calling Act 2.

Each of us has a particular reverence in a certain area. One we agreed upon was intentional rest…. that there’s no one left to perform “the hustle” for. That we only do ourselves injustice by not resting when we need it. The other full agreement was that our relationships with our respective spouses continues to unfold and there’s a gratitude in understanding deeply the changes that aging brings in one another. ( for reference i’m 58 my husband is 56 and our friends are early 60s)

Here is a no order list of other things…

-a lot of thought needs to go into where you are going to live as you age (they are retired, we still have several years before we do). That the size and scope of the home matters and what the surrounding environment is like. Our two story home that’s 4000 square ft might not be the long term final home we own.

-we won’t put up with BS. Not from family, friends or strangers. This comes from the idea that there’s so much love to give and so much vibrancy to be had in life that we aren’t wasting time managing other peoples “stuff”.

My contribution was that you can provide a soft landing spot for others, but it’s not your job to manage their response to that invitation. Surround yourself with a mix of people who want to share their ideas, listen to their side even if you don’t agree, but understand how their ideas prop up yours ( it’s the yin yang theory) Be a good receiver not a door mat you can hv a respectful conversation, but avoid the echo chamber people and the ones who want to force you to think like them.

-low quality food and coffee 😀. We’ve eaten enough of the bad stuff… give us the good stuff.

-stop worrying about how others perceive you-- i’ve spent the entire week with no makeup in easy clothes and no one has recoiled in pain… people just want you to show up genuinely. I think this includes the idea of not managing others perception of you by contorting or changing yourself.

-the water thing is real. Drink your water include electrolytes when you can. We agreed our bodies feel like shit if we skip this.

-health overall We are Gen X and they are slightly older. We’ve all encountered some scary health moments in the past few years (me most recently) and it was a signal to keep researching and keep understanding what our bodies need to thrive, but also that that plan includes some good tequila once in a while and exceptions are made for my husbands baking…. currently a dozen homemade cinnamon rolls are proofing in the oven…. but ultimately that we aren’t going to believe the mantra that “things just decline with age” but that we are grateful to have access to a variety of new health information that we can be discerning about and that we are active participants in the success of our bodies. Ultimately that we are good stewards for our health and it doesn't have to fit into anyone else’s vision but ours.

-watching birds is the nuts…. they hv a WiFi camera for watching the birds in their yard and we have…. well, it’s Arizona, so we have bird entertainment 24/7 They hv delighted in tracking all the wildlife here

Now we all have the Merlin app so we can identify which winged-gremlin is tweeting at 2am 😃

-lastly that we are all holding up life like John Cusack’s boom box(IYKYK) and we have to know when to not let it get too heavy (reach out for support when you need to)

-you're not disappearing with age, you’re not descending… you're shifting the brushstrokes of joy You're releasing the confines and exhaustion of constant performance for acceptance.

-seek out smart financial support if it’s not your strength. Things change, you need a guide

Engage in good conversation

Tell people your favorite things along with your fears…. we can’t just be yin or yang… we need both for the tension of kinetic energy, it where all life is born from.

Stand in wonder at the flower blooming, let things stop you in your tracks .

Make a nested favorite resting spot. USE IT!