I’m working on May as a reset month. My compulsion to try and do more, plan new projects, start a new line of study … it’s just hiding all my big grief. Four years of publishing myself & others and I can no longer outrun it.

The compulsion to push Incision Press into a new era is so present. There’s a reactive pull to it - now that I’m here, I need to get good at Bookstagram! Booktok! Programming into festivals! Finding interview opportunities!

But I return again and again to the brilliant 404 Publishing book called “Publisher Not Found” about the journey of a small press, and what it costs to run & survive & stay true. And why after a decade, they decided to fold their company. An honest, excellent book.

Again I come to, what does artistic leadership look like when the world is burning? I don’t think I know, and perhaps I never knew, and all the criticism everyone ever levelled at me during these last four years is finally true.

In any case. May is a reset month until I reground myself. The panic is still there - the terror that if I don’t move fast then something will be lost - but I’m stepping back from it. That too can be a form of leadership.

I am craving offline connection & artistic practice. That’s where I’m going next x