I didn't know, admitted it, asked God to show me, and He did (this was 48 years ago and has continued to this day). Admittedly, I asked by faith, which is a gift from God. He gives to whom He wills when He wills. He's in charge.

As for your condition, it's caused by what the Bible calls "sin," a word many are not familiar with its actual meaning. You're eating from and relying on the Tree of Knowledge, being your own god, and you call your knowledge "beliefs."

You won't see or know God till you eat from the Tree of Life.

You are also responsible for your condition, which is a good thing for you. It's how you'll come out of that darkness when your time of repentance and faith arrive. And they will. Every knee shall bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus is Lord - readily with great peace and joy.

Only our Creator can, has, and will accomplish this. I am a witness.

"For the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the LORD as the waters cover the sea" (Hab 2:14).