I love John Waters but this is such a terrible first sentence to his novel:

“Marsha Sprinkle has always been glad she’s self-employed.”

The string of words “has always been glad,” which is roughly 50% of the sentence, is sooooooo banal.

How does a guy as weird as John Waters not try to put a little more life and personality into his prose? Isn’t that a significant part of why anyone writes fiction in the first place—to play with words? !!!