Heading to London for more ‘real job’.

In England, we have something known as the North-South divide. This basically boils down to the following:

• In the north, we call dinner tea. Tea can also be called tea, but should not be confused with the warm liquid that has many other names, e.g., cuppa, brew, etc.

• We generally prefer the Scots to the southerners but this doesn't wash with them as they hate all of the English equally.

• The same goes for the Welsh.

• The same goes for the Irish.

• In the north we also hate other northerners who aren't exactly the same strain of northern as we are.

• Despite what they'll have you believe in the south, all modern technology is equally available in the north. Just the other day I had a brew using a kettle that didn't whistle when it boiled. Madness I know, but I guess we have to move with the times.

• People in the north die, on average, earlier than those in the south. This is mainly due to the south doing everything it possibly can to opress the north for centuries. Well that and we have less to do on an evening.

• Fish and Chips not made in the north are a shambles and should be banned.

• If you ask for directions in the south you will definitely be murdered. If you ask for them in the north you will be ridiculed for not knowing everything about everything. Either way, you'd have been better off staying home like a normal person.

• The north, contrary to the belief held by Londoners, does not start once you are on the outside of the M25. It actually starts in the first place you don't get murdered for asking directions.

• There is a place called the midlands which, in theory, sits between the north and south. I don't know of anyone who has ever been there so I have my doubts it even exists.

Hope this clears up a few things 👍.