The most common complaints I hear from people about their partners are, in essence, that they don't do what they want ("She doesn't do her share of the housework," "He's rude to my parents," "She never compliments me," "He forgets my birthday"). But if you think your partner should do what you want, when you want, I want to change the way you see it. That's not a relationship, that's possession. Possession is born of control. We definitely don't want that dynamic in our relationship. A quality partnership is transactional. Transactions are part of relating to another person.