I love to read things like this - I enjoyed every word! Memoir is my favourite genre of reading material, and of course humour is great across all genres. Thanks, Terry! When I first worked in an office I hadn't realised that I hadn't had the phones explained to me properly - I would put calls for my boss on 'hold' while I rang him on the phone's intercom function to tell him who was waiting to speak to him, and which line he was on. I'd then put the phone down, and then hear him across in his office say 'Hello Mr xxx' closely followed by 'Oh, for HEAVEN'S sake', as he stabbed the button for whichever phone line that was flashing. A colleague eventually told me that if I wanted to TRANSFER a call I had to press 'Transfer' instead of 'Hold', and that would mean that the call would be put through as soon as I put my receiver down from intercomming... I didn't last long!