Pardon me for jumping in. I'm intrigued by this comment "I believe it's because so many gay men have relationships with psychologically troubled mothers and absent or violent fathers."

It has become something of a "unassailable truth" that gay men are born and not created, but we as a modern society have very little interest in actually studying why some people are gay but most are not.

Do you think these poor relationships can or often are a result of parents who can't accept a gay son, or that shitty parents can somehow help "form" a gay man in some way? Do you think it's a chicken or the egg situation?

My closest gay friend from my youth told me he felt that being gay was both innate and a choice - that basically he had to *choose* to accept himself as gay. But that said, he remembered having a crush on an exchange student when he was like 1st or 2nd grade - the first time he really thought of anyone romantically, and never wavered from there in his interest in men. IIRC, he had a difficult relationship with both parents, for whatever that's worth.