Sensei Scrum

(In a conference room full of programmers, a Scrum Master paces back and forth.)

Sensei Scrum: "Carryover stories do not exist on this team, do they?!"

Programmers: "No, Sensei!"

Sensei Scrum: "Untracked work does not exist on this team, does it?!"

Programmers: "No, Sensei!"

Sensei Scrum: "Stories that don't fit into a sprint do not exist on this team, do they?!"

Programmers: "No, Sensei!"

Sensei Scrum: "What do we teach on this team?!"

Programmers: "The way of Scrum!"

Sensei Scrum: "What is the way of Scrum?!"

Programmers: "Twice the work, half the time, no mercy, Sir!"

Sensei Scrum: "Mr. Lawrence, while I open Jira, start the stand-up!"

Johnny: "Yes, Sensei! One at a time! What did you do yesterday? What will you do today? Do you have any blockers?!"