Every so often, I get really fired up about how stupid Scrum is (I'm sure you couldn’t tell), and I start writing down my feelings, convinced that this time, in this essay, I’ll expose the problem once and for all. Then, I can banish it from my mind for good. But somehow, I always end up back in the same place.

I realize that the real problem isn’t Scrum itself. The real problem is mandating Scrum. Developers should choose their own process. If they decide to do Scrum to themselves (even though I think that’s stupid), fine—whatever floats their boat. But when someone else, higher up the food chain, is calling all the shots, that’s the big problem. When you impose a system, no matter how righteous they told you it was in Scrum certification training, you just cause dysfunction.

If a development team chooses and runs Scrum (but, seriously, don’t be stupid—don’t actually run Scrum), they can make it work. Over time, they’ll tweak it until it fits. Before long, they’ll be slapping each other on the butt, saying “good game” and getting Jeff Sutherland tattoos on their backs. But if someone else is calling the shots, the team won’t be able to fix anything. Everything will be done for the wrong reasons, and everything will get perverted.

What all this means is the problem runs deeper and is harder to fix than just poor process decisions. Life won’t magically get better if Scrum somehow disappears. Unless developers can pick and run their own process, another useless, mandated system will just take its place.