You see a viral video of a woman working out at the gym, filming herself. A guy approaches her, and she says, “Oh God, another creep hit on me.” The clip goes viral, and the comments fill with men saying, “See, this is why we don’t approach women anymore. We’ll just get humiliated. What’s the point?”

But this is a huge overinterpretation. For every viral clip like that, there are countless ordinary interactions where a guy shoots his shot, she gives him her number or Instagram, and they go on a date. None of that goes viral. No one uploads it. Mundane success doesn’t travel online.

What you’re seeing instead is rage bait: rare, provocative cases selected precisely because they generate engagement. This reflects a classic finding from Daniel Kahneman and his colleagues: people draw sweeping conclusions from very limited information. What you see is not all there is.

By definition, viral content is unusual. Ordinary behavior attracts little attention; incendiary content attracts a lot. The mistake is treating the viral clip as representative rather than anomalous.

What’s really happening is that many men are anxious about approaching women and are relieved to find a socially acceptable justification for that anxiety. It’s not that I’m afraid, they tell themselves; it’s that I might get humiliated or posted online. But in most cases, the fear comes first and the excuse comes second.