Adam Carolla was on Joe Rogan’s podcast. Here I’ll paraphrase one of Carolla’s most important points from this discussion:

“I realized that you have a skill set. Like martial arts. You know it, you’re comfortable with it, you’re secure in it. You know your abilities there, just like you know your abilities as a comedian or as an archer.

For me, I’m a carpenter. I have a skill, a trade. There are things I know well, so I don’t feel insecure. I know what I’m good at, and I’m grounded in that.

But a lot of people don’t have that. They don’t have a trade or a skill or anything they can honestly call expertise. If you asked them, ‘What are you an expert at?’ they wouldn’t have an answer. You could name several — UFC, mixed martial arts, jiu-jitsu, podcasting, standup, whatever it is.

You could learn another language or master an instrument. But so many people never find that thing. They never develop a skill they can own. And because of that, they walk around in this heightened state of insecurity.”

This is an insightful point: once you start getting good at something, and it can be almost anything, you can build from there. You now have something to talk about, something you know more about than most people. And if you can make it even mildly interesting, you can speak about it at length.

But many people spend their free time on social media or binge-watching TV. It is strange now: if you talk to younger guys and ask what they’re interested in, they’ll tell you about a Netflix show, or getting high, ordering Uber Eats, binge-watching, and maybe sports gambling.

If your life is dull and uneventful, and most of your free time is spent scrolling social media, it will be hard to hold anyone’s interest.