Y’all chillin out while the kings go hungry

Make your Holiday returns and ask for gift cards.

Buy nothing, no merchandise. Y’all chillin out.

Go on home now, play with your Holiday toys.

Enjoy chillin out watching the blood sport playoffs.

Consume tasty buds and your favorite craft beer.

Now buy local, support your neighbors.

Turn off auto-pay just for a while. Not another gosh-darn dime online, Y’all chillin out.

Hold those gift cards till after the Super Bowl.

Then go shopping, the sales will be wild.

Inventory will be up, prices will be down.

Now y’all chillin out in style.

Here’s why it works:

Q1 is when the kings are hungriest.

Retailers reselling returned merchandise is a cash machine. Wall Street lives and dies by the first-quarter numbers, stock prices, bonuses, the whole gilded circus. If Y’all chillin out, and hold back even a little, their profits dip, their crowns wobble, and the message rings out: Y’all chillin out.

So enjoy what you’ve got, keep your money warm in your pocket, and let the billionaires go hungry while Y’all chillin out, January's Q1.