The Substack Notes algorithm is a somewhat-addled but well-meaning golden retriever who likes to bring you things based solely on smell. Sometimes it completely nails it, but sometimes it’s off-base in a way that’s bewildering but correctable with patience and training.

Meanwhile, the YouTube Shorts algorithm is that coworker who sent you one heartwarming video one time and you said you liked it so it feels like the two of you kinda bonded?…and now it won’t stop trying to hurt your feelings on the daily with a mix of sad movie clips, sentimental AI slop, and videos about abandoned pets getting rescued.

(On a related note, if I have to watch one more out-of-context but completely devastating clip of Me Before You I swear I’m going to spike my phone across the room…)