Do you know that feeling when those who were here leave? A silence, and a kind of emptiness.

Especially after living with a family for a long time.. sleeping and waking up together.

We would open the curtains and let the sunlight pour in, watching its first rays together in the early morning.

When I would wake up to drink my coffee, I’d see little Amal already ahead of me, welcoming the morning and embracing its sun.. she had taken a book from the library and was already reading it.

We both loved the calm of early mornings, when no one yet claims the first hours of the day, or the late hours of the night.

You know that feeling.. when you feel like the entire universe belongs only to you, or was even created just for you.

...

Anyway…

Today Mahmoud was here too, my cousin, whom I used to see often in the corners of my small home.

He was very sensitive when he sought refuge in our home. His first days here were difficult and sad, and my beloved and I could see that in his eyes. But we tried to embrace them as much as we could, so none of them would feel burdened or uncomfortable.

And indeed we succeeded.. but the recent displacement separated us.

It’s okay… it is life, with its ups and downs, its genocide and endless displacement.

...

In general…

My recent days have been very full and quite chaotic.

I still feel the spirit of Ramadan, its timing and rhythm, the family gatherings around the table, and in preparing the meals.

Today I also ate a dish I hadn’t eaten in nearly a year (molokhia ملوخية)… since Mahmoud and his family used to live with us here.

It’s a dish Mahmoud hates, but we all love it haha, and we used to tease him about it whenever his mother cooked it for us.

Today I think I teased him again by coincidence when I happened to prepare it.. on the very day he came haha.

But it’s okay, he had already eaten before coming.

...

Also, in the middle of my busy schedule, we made (ka’ak كعك) with the family.

I couldn’t help them much.. only for a few minutes yesterday, and then I had to rest.. but habibi continued helping them instead of me.

He is such a kind and loving person.

They stayed up until dawn making it, while I had fallen asleep early haha. When I woke up, I saw they had finished baking it and brought me my share this morning.

Everything was very intense… but beautiful.

Very beautiful.