My new favorite word is “chud.”

From what I understand it’s an acronym from an old movie: Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller. And as words go, it freights an enormous amount of meaning.

The animalistic “gotta see what my friends are up to” impulse that keeps you locked scrolling a social media feed for an hour? Total chud.

The part of you that engages in self-cannibalizing behavior like smoking and drinking, eating away at the healthy meat of your life for no other reason than to indulge an insatiable appetite for more? Chud.

The part of you that is easily reduced to the state of a pitchfork-brandishing pleb hunting for your political enemies at the mention of a buzzword? Total chud.

It’s a versatile word, too—very easy to combine with others, for compound meaning.

That part of you that stares at a wall for an hour and a half in the morning because you can’t summon up motivation to decide between showering or having breakfast first? Chudbrain.

Politicians manipulating the electorate by playing to their basest fears? Chud-whisperers.

Charging into battle bravely over identity politics that you’re only tangentially involved in, willing to sacrifice random internet normies at the altar of your keyboard? Chudheart.

Composed on the outside but secretly a chud? Congrats; you’re Mr. Horatio Chudsworth III.

I hear this word was coined to be applied to right-wingers, according to some of the descriptions on the internet? But it’s way too versatile a word to waste on politics. I’m taking it. It’s mine. I’m keeping it — I will guard my preferred meaning chuddily with every ounce of Gollum-like covetousness that I can muster. Be warned.