no two critics sound the same. this includes the one walking the walls within us. in fact, some may not sound like anything at all. my own, for example, is less likely to be heard so much as hold court in my stomach, meting out judgment for every joy. for years, i was puzzled by the present absence of a voice often vilified as nothing is ever good enough. that we are never good enough. it took time for me to understand how one can't hear the sound of a sting, only feel its fire. but no matter which form our personal prosecutor assumes, its stern message lands somewhere along the lines of “you could've”, “you should've”, or “if only you would've.” it's not easy being an audience of one for such sabotage. at best it's amusing, at worse it’s agonizing. sometimes i imagine my inner critic as this little kid throwing a tantrum over not getting his way (what the critic craves more than anything is control). and yet, i have no interest in waging war on myself. that's why i don’t try to eradicate this internal inquisitor anymore, instead learning how to harness it for my own growth. if we can mercilessly lash ourselves, we can mightily lift ourselves. so rather than flee the ruckus upstairs, we can alternatively name and claim our own version of the truth. this might sound as simple as, “i’m doing the best i can” and “i love myself the way i am.” for as much as we make out the mind to be this control freak who’s always telling us what to do and how to feel, it's from a very well-intentioned but horribly misguided attempt at protection. in this sense, our inner critic isn't so much an enemy as an overzealous parent doing their best not to let us trip (but ultimately the one facilitating our fall). so whenever we hear or feel that unmistakable jab of judgment for not reaching some self imposed standard, may we give ourselves permission to smile and nod. how the most honest voice of all rarely resides in the head, but humbly strolls through the halls of the heart. 📸: erzsebet vehofsics