This piece of writing is something you should be extremely proud of, friend. I’m glad you held on to it and found now as the right time to post it. I know this took a lot of courage and that is what makes me proud of you for finishing it and posting it. 🫶🏻

One of the best things about all of your writing is your honesty. Then, you come in here with this one and whew… You opened right up with it, didn’t you? 😂Just came right out and said it.

Beautiful, brutal honesty. Hooked.

I want to sit here and pick your brain over SO much stuff. I think it’s incredibly fascinating that you have been on the other side of this as someone who ,once before & quite literally, had a huge part of their identity wrapped up with a big Christianity bow on top.

I don’t know much about Christianity other than God sent his son, Jesus, and Jesus was supposed to be love and light bc that is what they taught me in Sunday School. I literally called myself a Christian bc someone told me I was… That and just bc Jesus loved everyone.

Then stuff started not making much sense to me bc how was Jesus love if there was so much hate? Shit, and that was when I was a KID, in the 90s, which the hate was still there but definitely not as loud as today. It’s like people preach hate in the name of Jesus and throw Old Testament quotes and bible versus out there to back it up. So maybe part of me actually is just still confused and I’m not sure if these radical Christians are getting it wrong or I am missing something, but I most definitely think the face of the people who worship this way are not doing anything good for the religion. It’s only made me question more and I know I cannot be the only one.

This is why I appreciate your concept here bc you’ve been through it. You studied it, listened to it, learned it and then preached and taught it… Then watched how it could be used as something to exclude others just bc of their differences and then decided this was not the way. You named the fear tactics used against anyone who is simply not Christian and challenged that. This is powerful stuff, John! Mostly this just shows you’re a good human and smart as hell, too. Bc you’re so right…there is a lot we don’t understand and there is no reason to see that as a threat.

Maybe I’m wrong but I feel like when you took this path you did so probably hoping to always believe it, always feel it, and maybe bc you thought that it was the answer to peace— maybe also belonging? Maybe you were trying to find that and didn’t. Then I think bc you’re you, you couldn’t pretend to not see what you saw and you are just honest enough with yourself and everyone else to not hide behind it.

Listen, I have so much more I could say as I have finally sat here and read it for the second time but I’m not going to go on and on bc that’s annoying, I’m tired and most definitly rambling… But just know— this is probably very much one of my favorite things I’ve read on this platform so far.

Some stuff seriously gave me chills. I’m not sure why it personally hit me so hard other than maybe it let me know that I’m not alone. It reiterated my knowing I’m not “wrong”, or “bad”, or fated to a fiery pit if I don’t know exactly what is going on or even what I truly believe/think/feel… and I am allowed to admit that. Like you’re saying, I believe we as humans should do better, love better, and just be fucking better to each other for no other reason than we’re all just trying to survive, be happier, and suffer less.

Sorry for blowing up this space with lots of words. 😂😂 Yes, they were necessary.