I agree that male friendships often express emotional intimacy in ways that don’t look feminine or romantic — for example, men tend to bond shoulder to shoulder over a shared activity, while women tend to bond face to face. Affection can also be expressed in many, many ways.

That said, men generally have smaller social support systems, and are reporting fewer friends that women. So there is a connection issue happening.

Interestingly, each of my closest male friends (most of whom are completely straight) regularly tell me and other men “I love you.” These are day laborers, body builders, doctoral students, all sorts of guys. These are guys I would absolutely die for, and vice versa.

The key is affection and emotional closeness. That will look different for different men. And I still believe that many men struggle with receiving and giving it, in part due to the fear of looking seeming weird or gay.