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While I think that absurdism would be a better way of living for me, I find myself acting and behaving as an existentialist. I find it difficult to imagine Sisyphus happy. How can one be happy in misery? How can one be happy in pain, in despair, in agony, in fear.... ? Emotions and feelings are part of our "essence" and to deny them is -so it seems to me- a form of self deception. Can anyone explain to me how to imagine happiness when there is none without resorting to magical thinking?
Precisely miss. Imagining happiness in Sisyphus' state is tantamount to self-deception. Camus said so because he felt correctly that Sisyphus experienced the futility and meaninglessness of his endless struggle. However, doing the same thing only to get the same result (-) amounts to an inherent feeling of despair.
Absurdism is a beautiful philosophy, though quite impractical. Existentialism however is a more preferable idea to me. We exist to seek meaning and that is what makes our subjective world meaningful. Camus however failed to realize that embracing the absurd is also a way to seek meaning,and that meaning which is the only essence in absurdism is to preserve one's existence.