Chronicles of a Tiny Dictator

Tuesday, May 6th

0715h — Tiny Dictator decides yogurt should no longer be served in a bowl, as her subjects refuse to spoon-feed her (though she is very capable of spoon-feeding herself). She demands that it be transferred to a squeeze bottle, which she then forces her subjects to squeeze for her.

0800h — Leaving for daycare 30 minutes behind schedule due to breakfast turmoil. Tiny dictator is happy until she is placed in her carriage. She kicks her legs vigorously, simultaneously kicking Mama Subject in the face.

0810h — Mama Subject calmly recovers and puts magic sunglasses on Tiny Dictator. The five-minute walk is calm. Tiny Dictator’s shoes remain on the whole time.

0815h — Arrived at daycare. 5 minutes to safety. Mama Subject tries to remove Tiny Dictator’s sunglasses as they enter the building. Tiny Dictator says no in her firm, authoritative way. Mama Subject cowers. Two failed attempts follow; fear of an outburst looms.

0820h — Sunglasses on, Mama Subject hands Tiny Dictator over to her next conquests. Fear dissipates. 8 hours to regroup.