"I'd love to see black people hold BLM to account - if black lives are so important, why do they only focus on the tiny percentage who are killed by white cops and not all the black lives destroyed every year by other black lives?"

There are several black people making this point though. Ahmaud Arbery's father pointed out that "all lives matter" during the press conference after his son's killers were convicted (I thought Al Sharpton was going to have a seizure😄)! Loury, McWhorter, Hughes, the parents of children who have been killed by gun violence, they're speaking about it. "Abolish the police" is just an easier rallying cry for progressives than "what exactly is happening in some black communities?"

Trans activism is similar. "Trans women are women" is easier for progressives to wrap their heads around than "what exactly do we mean when we say 'trans woman'?" The problem is, it's infinitely harder to find trans people, and almost impossible to find trans *women,* speaking out publicly against the AGP men and predators hiding under their umbrella. Detransitioners are speaking up in larger numbers, which is important. But as you say, it's still not the same as somebody from within the community acknowledging the problems.

Asking difficult questions is always going to be less popular than bleating out "woke" slogans. And yes, the pushback is rough. But BLM did noticeable harm to race relations. And trans activism is doing even more damage to perceptions of trans people.