"Kathoeys overdo femininity, it is not the natural femininity of a woman."

Hmm, I think this is often true for kathoey, but less so for trans people in the West. Or maybe it's fairer to say that Thai women seem less inclined to "overdo" femininity than western women are (it's also worth pointing out that many Kathoey are sex workers, so the overdoing of femininity kind of comes with the job.).

Hyper-femininity is increasingly common among women in the West, so of course, some trans women mimic that. But many trans women don't seem to to embrace the whole lipstick/makeup/tight dress vision of femininity any more than most women do.

But I think that's a good point about being femininity-attracted. I saw many very beautiful kathoey when I was in Thailand, but the knowledge that they were born male, regardless even of what surgeries they might have had, killed any attraction for me personally. In my mind, womanhood isn't something you can simply "put on". Even if you put it on with hormones and surgery.

It's similar to how I find natural female bodies more attractive than plastic surgery. It's not a criticism of those who choose to have plastic surgery, and certainly not a challenge to their right to do so. I'm 100% supportive of people's rights to live however feels authentic, but I also think it's important that we accommodate everybody's rights and feelings when we figure out how to live together.