Yep, the whole thing is so weird to me. When she says "pretend to identify with," the only way I can make it make sense is if she means "conform to the stereotypes of." But it's as if she just can't understand that she doesn't have to. Or that the vast majority of people don't "identify" with their "assigned gender."

Yes, rejecting societal expectations will inevitably generate some friction. But as you say, endlessly lecturing people about your personal interpretation of gender roles and your place within them seems like it must generate so much more!