Experiencing big grief from the death of a core person in your life is sort of like being pursued by a bear that repeatedly catches and mauls you. You can run from it for a while—a few hours, a few days—and you’re sort of okay-ish while you’re running, even if you know it’s on your heels the whole time. And then it catches you, and you’re thrown to the ground and mauled and yes, its just as terrible as one might imagine. Then somehow you find yourself giving it the slip again. One minute you’re being mauled, and then in the next you’re sort of not, so you get up. Then you run again for a while until it catches you again. After a while, your running time starts to lengthen. Maybe the longest you could run was ten or twelve hours before it got it, and then it really got you, but eventually you’ll find yourself running for a whole week or even more. Maybe you’ll even lose sight of the bear and you’ll think, where is it? And then there is the bear again.