I, too, with my sweetheart, once reserved a “bridal honeymoon suite” in a rustic motel — it was the last room left, and we thought it would be a laugh, mildly titillating. Who says we don’t have fun, right?

Well, we open the door, after a long drive, and it’s all white shag carpet and Dean Martin style bar and a California King bed . . . With an ENORMOUS garden zucchini lying in the middle of the bedcovers.