This turned out to be an overwhelmingly emotional day. I knew I was a bit fragile, the whole Graham Platner discourse having triggered my sensitivities around our national culture of dismissing victims. On my morning commute, I was instantly in tears over the thought, “How different might my life have been if people believed and supported victims?”

And as I have been sharing and commenting and engaging on this content, I have been so touched and encouraged by the support that I’ve received, and the support that women and victims in general have received from many honest and heartfelt voices. It means so much, in such a uniquely personal way.

But who would have thought that today, of all days, I would also get a phone call that was entirely unrelated - until it wasn’t?

The phone call was from a lady at my doctor’s office. We’ll call her Amy. Amy handles referrals, and she was calling about a referral that I’d been having trouble with.

A little background - my primary insurance is through the VA. But after my doctor retired and DOGE gutted everything, I couldn’t get an appointment. So I wrote to my Senator - not so much about me, personally, but about how my personal experience was an example of how veterans were getting shafted and it was only going to get worse.

So then I got a phone call from some senior dude at the Bangor VA who started our conversation by angrily telling me that my care was not being negatively impacted in any way by President Trump 🤣. He then pretended to set up an appointment, but actually blacklisted me into an administrative hole.

Luckily, in the meantime I learned that I could receive care at a local facility because I live so far from any VA center. So I did that. And one of my priorities was to seek some mental health care. I’ve never had it. I’ve experienced childhood traumas, then traumas in the military, then traumas providing end of life care to my abusive mom. It’s not an emergency, but I know I would benefit from some assessment and a plan.

My doctor submitted a referral for a neuropsych eval, so maybe I can start putting some names to some things that I experience. Maybe even give my kids an accurate picture of their medical history. She referred me to a neurologist that specializes in and advocates for women vets happy sigh

The VA does not want to approve this. They want me to see their specialist, 3 hours away. I do not want to be re-traumatized. And today, Amy called to make a plan with me.

Amy explained how she was planning to resubmit the referral, and asked why I didn’t want to see the VA specialist. I said that I trust my doctor’s referral, but I don't currently trust the VA with my mental health. She said, “I’m sorry if this is a bit personal, but it really burns me up that we don’t treat our veterans better. We have two vets working here, and they have told me stories about their struggles to get care, and it’s just so wrong.”

I told her my story with the VA that had led me to their office. She said she could hear in my voice how deeply this was affecting me.

Then I told her that this timing was so wild, because these allegations against Platner had just come out, and as a survivor, I was deeply triggered. And that this was one of the main drivers for why I was seeking mental health care in the first place. So yes, it was pretty emotionally overwhelming to be getting this particular help on this particular day.

She promised me that she would do everything she could to make sure I could get care in a safe space. She said she knew how much it meant just to have someone who understood. Tears were streaming down my face. It took me some long minutes in the bathroom with paper towels and cold running water to collect myself and go back to my desk.

I am totally fine. I actually wasn’t even upset at all, just grateful. But wow! You don’t always know what you’re holding behind those floodgates until a couple of unrelated events and the kindness of strangers suddenly flings them wide open. 💔❤️