First of all, I want to thank you and D'Angelo for his video. I have tried to deal with these issues in helping people. I don't think I can explain in a comment like this. I would find it difficult to explain in a long lecture, too.

I see who we are as a process, a changing one, not a static entity. You have been built by what happened to you and how you dealt with it (effectively or not). The "one day my prince will come", "one day I will be happy, successful.. whatever" expectation won't happen unless you change who you are. Some people can deal with the loss of who they are now and change - rather like a caterpillar, chrysalis into a butterfly. Most people can't or not completely.

What they are now has kept them alive, dealt with their wounds. It is valuable; they can't let themselves change. It would feel too wrong, too risky and essentially they wouldn't be who they are anymore. It is more a question of "I am what I am and what I am needs no excuses". Seeing yourself as a process in change might make you happier with the new "improved" version of you. BUT you might lose the things that you value - your art, your friends, the way that you see things and certainly the self that has helped you to survive so far.

Take your rests. You don't need to struggle or fight 24/7.