Speaking Up

I used to be the person who let things go. I frequently dismissed behaviors as “They’ve got a lot going on,” or “They’re busy,” … I’ve been breaking myself of that habit.

I live in a “community” with two separate laundry areas, each with one washing machine and one dryer. The one on my side is less expensive, more convenient, and takes cash. The one on the other side is more expensive and needs quarters or an app to pay.

One of the people who lives here has a habit of putting their clothes in the washer or dryer, and then leaving. Sometimes hours, other times she’s gone for a day or two, with her clothes still in the shared washer/dryer on my side.

There’s been days where I’ve texted her asking when she’ll be back. She’ll sweetly ask if I can put her laundry in her bag for her and leave it. I’ve obliged a few times just so I can finish my laundry. Plus, she’s been supportive of me during past hard times, but I’ve also been supportive towards her. I was feeling resentful of the laundry situation but repeatedly dismissed it because of how helpful she’s been in other areas.

The resentment really grew when she left with her clothes in the washing machine. I took her clothes out of the washer, washed and dried mine, then put hers right back in the washing machine. I started getting frustrated with her, but always dismissed it as “she’s just busy.” Last week I decided, no more.

A couple days ago I put my clothes in the washing machine and saw hers was in the dryer. When I went back in my house I saw her drive off. I text asking when she’d get back and she said, “Tomorrow,” then asked if I would put her clothes in her bag. Mind you, she only had 10 minutes left in the dryer when she left.

I did just so I could finish my laundry. The following day she text me “Thank you,” and I took a deep breath and responded:

“You’re welcome! It would be really great if you would be more mindful to not leave for an extended time when you do laundry.”

Her response was “Oh wow,” and then made a comment that she didn’t know it was such a burden.

I let her know it wasn’t about being a burden and then I repeated asking that she be more mindful because she does it frequently.

This was three days ago and she hasn’t responded or spoken to me since.

I try to not repeat really personal situations with other people here, but I felt moved to share this one.

I’m at a place in my life where I’m balancing being kind with giving zero f*cks. I’m speaking up more, respectfully, and I’m seeing certain people don’t like it.

Leaving your laundry in a shared washer or dryer then leaving for hours or days is highly inconsiderate. No one else here does it.

A while ago I noticed I became more passive in life after years of being emotionally torn down by another person, I just started letting things go to keep the peace. I’m not interested in that anymore.

I am reclaiming my time, reclaiming my voice, keeping my peace, and speaking up.

Thank you for reading. I thought this was going to be short but it turned out to be more of an essay, lol.

Have a great day!

Blessings!