Deep Breath - Vulnerable Post

I am fully participating in the 30-Day “Swap-it-Out” Challenge I launched today. I chose to work on the fourth area, “Mindset.”

When I thought about this challenge, I made conscious decision to work on an area which has been a lifelong battle for me, my skin color.

My mother is a Black woman, a very brown-skinned Black woman. After my parents divorced, I lived in a home with my maternal relatives, all incredibly beautiful Black women with medium to dark brown complexions. Most of my maternal relatives are more deeply melanated. Only a handful of us aren’t.

My whole life I’ve wanted to be darker. I went through ridiculous lengths to achieve my goals since I was a “pre-teen.”

Because I look like my mother, I would always joke that everything about me came from my mother except for my skin, that came from my father. But within that joke was a lot of pain.

I do get darker in the sun, I don’t care how much sunscreen I use or the SPF, when I’m outdoors I come back a little darker than before. I’ve loved that. Then it slowly dissipates during the Winter months.

I recently worked with a support person who told me “You need to love yourself for who you are, and who you’re not.” That struck me in my soul. So, I’ve been learning to love myself for who I am, and for who I’m not.

I’ve decided for the next 30 days, I am going to actively work on literally loving myself in the skin that I’m in. I deserve to truly love myself in my fullness, and if that means looking at myself in the mirror every day and loving on who I am, I’ll do it. This has to heal because I’m worthy of being loved just as I am.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

If you’re joining me in the 30-Day “Swap-it-Out” Challenge, just know that I’m walking with you.

We’ve got this!

Blessings!