I get a lot of “foreigners in Germany” content on TikTok and Instagram. I see that almost anytime someone who isn’t from Germany complains or talks about something they don’t like, the typical response is for people to tell them to leave.

A video recently came up in my FYP where a content creator who isn’t from Germany, also told people to leave if they didn’t like it here. Worse yet, they went on to say any problems people experience in Germany are entirely their fault simply because they don’t have the right mindset.

These kinds of messages trigger me. First off, anyone who’s endured German bureaucracy tried to pronounce Schesisches Tor, had a doctor tell them to drink tea, or suffered from a stranger yelling at them on the street for crossing on a red light have all earned the right to complain. Second, everyone has a different experience as a foreigner in Germany, and not all of us have the privilege to believe the “Law of Attraction” will act as an invisible forcefield preventing bad things from happening. Third, not everyone had much choice in coming here. Last, people suffer from mental health issues and that should never be minimized.

Back in 2015, I went through an especially tough period in Germany for reasons beyond my control. My company went out of business and didn’t pay my salary until months later. Even though I found a new job pretty quickly, I wasn’t permitted to start on time as my visa was stuck in processing. My savings were soon empty and I had to borrow money from friends for the first time in my life. I took odd jobs transcribing audio interviews and ghostwriting sex guides (true story!). I wasn’t eligible for unemployment benefits, as I’d been in Germany for less than a year. After I started my new job, I was laid off after just three months while I was still on probation.

During that time, I was anything but well. I spent several weeks comatose in bed experiencing panic attacks, insomnia, and anxiety so intense I couldn’t think straight. I almost gave up and left Germany altogether, especially after I received a job offer in Canada.

It’s fortunate that things worked out and I’m happy I decided to stay, but I’ll never forget that dark time. It’s difficult to even write about now, even though it’s almost a decade later.

I feel I’ve earned the right to complain from time to time and anyone who moves here deserves that right.

In a perfect world, we’d all be less sanctimonious. We’d allow others to have an opinion without people telling them to go back to their home country or that their circumstances are their own fault. Instead, we could instead hold space for others to vent, attempt to understand why people feel the way they feel, and offer empathy, care, and even help for those who might not be in a great place.