I think this piece by Amber Adrian really hit the nail on the head and is why I’ve been moving away from using the word “community” to describe what we have here.

I write a newsletter. You read it. I facilitate conversation. You perhaps participate. That’s it. Sometimes we come together to read things, or to raise money for a cause. Wonderful! But we’re not “in community”. I am in community with my next door neighbor, who just texted me for sourdough tips after I gave her some of my starter.

I understand that people make connections online and sometimes those are flourishing relationships but they only become really life-giving when they make their way offline. There’s a spectrum to this (like, Voxer is maybe second base online friendship lol, and texting is perhaps third base, and then finally meeting is home? Bad dating metaphor) but if the majority of your relationships are purely digital, that’s not a good thing. I’ve made good, real friends online that I love. But I don’t think I truly loved them until I gave them a hug.

Our real community is the one we interact with each day. It isn’t curated and it isn’t easy—that’s the point!