What I've noticed in post-diagnosis appointments, and I've now sat in enough of them to recognise the pattern, is this.

The ADHD adult comes in transformed, or beginning to be. The partner, when they're mentioned at all, sounds like someone standing slightly to one side of a celebration they were instrumental in making possible.

Not excluded exactly. Just waiting to see what this means for them.

That's not bitterness. It's a reasonable response to an account that hasn't yet been acknowledged.