He “should just know” is a shortcut to externalizing blame. It’s easier to look at your partners shortcomings. Then to look at what you are avoiding.

Ladies, hyper-independence is fine until you have to ask for help.

Asking for help is a vulnerable act for highly-independent people who do it all for everyone else or are use to over-functioning as survival. Our pesky brain takes us on shortcuts where we can externalize that responsibility onto others. Typically our partner, kids, family and what they “should” know. If they should know it — that frees me from the vulnerability of having to ask for it and possibly get “rejected” (no I am not talking about asking for help with the laundry or chores. I’m talking more “babe, I had a really bad day and really need xyz: (just to vegg out cuddling on the couch with you) can we do that tonight?

V U L N E R A B I L I T Y

It’s like siri maps/google maps which ever maps. It takes you on a route you don’t want to go. You keep trying to go this way↗️ and it is rerouting you that way⬇️

That interpersonal conflict becomes a gridlock and our partners get labeled as the culprit because they “triggered” it.

Remember: Triggered is really just an external force pressing on a wound that was already there.

💡Tell me… whats coming up for you reading this?