My mentor was once asked: “What kind of person should never be a psychotherapist?”

He responded, after a long and thoughtful pause:

“Anyone who has not suffered should not be a psychotherapist.”

As winter comes to an end I am aware that I speak often about that feeling…

That feeling that we are not worthy of being alive.

That feeling that we might just want it to be done today.

That feeling that it is all harder than the gifts we receive in return.

I know this to be a passing feeling if we just give it grace.

I know that because I have suffered.

I have been in the depths of the depths.

I have forgotten that another feeling exists.

Today I was reminded that sometimes we need to know that we can lay down in the damp forest and sleep.

And eat ice cream.

And feel sorry for ourselves.

Often the storm will pass and we will feel like life is a bit more worth it tomorrow.

Or the next day.

But today we get to feel bad.

I only know that because I have suffered.

I can only hold the truth that my clients sometimes don’t want to exist because I know that feeling.

I wonder what else we must first feel before we can truly bear witness to the suffering of our human reality.

And find space for that which is not filled with that helpless kind of suffering.

Play.

Creativity.

Imperfect connection.

Risk.

Want.

Hunger.

Mess.