No one should have to learn dating apps at 60. I'm convinced they were designed by people who hate human connection.

Swiping endlessly, barely matching, getting ghosted, the photos that look nothing like the actual person. I felt like I'd been dropped into a foreign country without a phrase book.

My first few exchanges read like a man who'd been frozen in 1998 and thawed out with a smartphone.

Because that's basically what happened.